Greatest Fears
by fireball13
Summary: Can Deeks save someone who doesn't want to be saved? Will he trust kensi's instincts and finally admit that he isn't as fearless as he claims to be?One shot. Published it again after a few corrections I made.


**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS:LA or its characters…**

**Author's Note: This is my first fan fiction ever so please be...gentle! Looking forward to reviews!**

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"I need you all to find your greatest fears and use them in your advantage," this was Hetty's order to all of the team. NCIS had of course the best phyciatrists on their disposal, so Dr Murphy had been sent to give each agent a session. Even hypnotism was on the table if nessecary.

All of the team was throught, except for Deeks who was still in the room with the Dr. Kensi, G and Sam were sitting at their desks trying to guess the fears of each other.

"Kensi, you are easy," Callen said " You have once admitted your fear and it's no other than hair. And if I reacall correctly, back hair."

"No way," Sam protested.

"I bet her fear is working with Deeks for the rest of her life."

Kensi felt the need to defend her partner but G beat her responding "Now that would be your fear Sam."

The betting and guessing kept going until it was interrupted by Deeks walking down the stairs cocky as he' d ever been.

"I am officialy fearless and have a Doctor's note to prove it," he stated loudly.

Sam could not believe his ears " No way, not you!"

"He is right," G agreed. "I would except that from Kensi but certainly not you."

"You Guys break my heart," Deeks said touching with one hand his chest. "I thought you were my friends. I thought I could share my hapinnes with you and all you do is bicker."

"We are sorry Deeks," Kensi apologised.

Sam looked at her with a puzzled look on his face. No way she would let Deeks get off that easily, and no way in hell she would ever apologise.

Before he could even finish his thoughts, Kensi continued "Yes you are fearless Deeks because the part of your brain that distinguishes fear simply doesn't work...among with other parts as well."

Deeks felt even more betrayed. "I would except that from them, but not from you too partner. You should be glad I am fearless cause that means I will be awsome in the battle field. Even Chuck Norris should be scared of me."

Sam's eyes widened as he took one deep breath to control his anger. G placed his hands on his shoulders trying to calm him while expaining to Deeks " There are two things you should never joke about around Sam. The King and the Man."

Kensi sat comftortably on her chair with her hands on her chin in order to enoy the course of this conversation. All that was missing was a bowl of pop corn. She had worked with Sam long enough to know that G was right. You don't make jokes like that in front of him.

Deeks could not hide his laughter, "The king and the Man? Are you kidding me?"

Meanwhile Sam was getting ever more agitated.

"Ok, the man I get it. He must be Chuck Norris since Sam is all red and smoke coming out of his ears state. But the king I don't get it."

'Leave it Deeks," G tried to warn him as he knew he couldn't hold Sam down for any longer.

"Oh my God," suddenly Deeks came to the realisation. "It's Michael Jackson isn't it? Oh I can't believe this. Please tell me you have the glove, or better... you dance to his songs every night. Look, look at me I can do thriller" he said as he started the thriller routine.

Smoke was really coming out of Sam now but as he tried to calm himself down the final drop came out of Deeks as he suddenly stopped dancing "Unless you mean Elvis. Oh, I am dying to see you do the Elvis moves. Tell me you have the apropriate outfit for it."

That was it. Deeks had it coming and G was in no position to take aways this chance form Sam. A chance to hit Deeks in the face.

He stepped out of the way, while Sam moved like an angry bull towards Deeks with his fiest ready to punch. Kensi was frantically trying to find her mobile to record this once in a lifetime experience, but just as Sam's fiest was an inch away from a scared Deeks Eric wistled from above.

"We have a case!"

Sam looked deep into the eyes of Deeks. " Saved by the whistle for his once. But next time..."

"Oh come on big guy. Can't you take a joke? I am the funny guy around here remember?'

Hetty was already in the ops room with Eric and Nell. As soon as the team gathered Eric played the video on screen.

"We have a dead marine. Lt Chris Sullivan was found dead this morning in an alley at Palms Blvr. He was shot twice, once in the leg and once in the head."

"Looks like an excecution, was he robbed?" Kensi asked,

"No," Nellwent on."Money, cards, watch, everything was intact. LA PD suspects that whoever shot him was settling scores."

"I just found a video form a store across the street," Eric continued as he uploaded the video. "Here you can see there is Lt Sullivan entering the alley, and a few minutes later this woman comes out."

There was a blond woman looking really nervous with blood in her hands. She looked around making sure no one was watching and then run into the night.

There is no footage of her going in so I suspect she cameformthe opposite direction.

Before Eric had the time to even bring a close up of her face, Deeks swalowed hard as he was quite certain he recognised the woman. Kensi could immediately feel that there was something up with her partner. She hadn't seen that look many times, but when she did, it meant trouble. She could see the veins on his face pop out but hesitated to ask him anything .

Eric tried to find a match form their data base and just as they got a hit Deeks let out a deep breath and said. " Emily Dunham. Her name is Emily Dunham". Her ID on the screen confirmed it and everyone looked at him puzzled. The weird thing was that the hit came form the military data base. She wasn't a criminal, she was an ex marine.

Deeks coud feel the eyes upon him and knew he had some explaining to do. "A few years ago I was in an undercover case concerning drug dealing among marines. They suspected Emily was an addict so I was sent to confirm it and find imformation about the dealers that were supplying her. "

It was hard for Deeks to go on with the memories of this case but he had no choice. Everyone was expecting answers about Emily and he was the one that could give them, so he went on.

"I approached Emily out of the base pretending I was a junkie who was looking for the good stuff. It wasn't difficult for her to open up as she felt lonely in a hard world surrounded by men. Once I got the name of the dealers, we organised on op and brought them down. But as much as I tried to protect Emily, the force found out she was an addict and of course kicked her out. Once my cover was blown I volunteered to help her. I even let her stay at my house for a while."

Kensi could not believe her ears. Deep down inside she always knew that Deeks wasn't as tough or insensitive as he pretended to be, but actually hearing him admit it...was a feeling she had never experienced.

"She refused to go to detox, but as long I was home to take care of her she tried her best. Yes she had some anger issues but she managed to control them. Time went by though and I had a new undercover assigment. I begged her to go to detox for at least the time I would be away. There was no way I could change her mind. I let her stay at home, and when I came back a couple of weeks later I found her od in the bedroom."

For the first time everyone was speechless by Deeks. For the first time everyone was waiting for him to talk.

"I took her at the hospital just in time to save her life. I knew that I couldn't go on like this. I couldn't be responsible for her. I knew I wouldn't be able to focus on my job wondering wether she's be alive by the time I came back. So I checked her in at Detox. last time I saw her she told me she hated me and that I was the one was actually killing her."

Dead silence surrounded the room. Deeks could not keep his head up as the guilt took him over once again after all these years. Even Sam forgot his previous anger and Kensi all just wanted to comfort him

"It wasn't your responsibiity to take care of her Mr Deeks," Hetty broke the silence. " You are a cop not a social worker. You did all you could do to save her, but it would never be enough if she didn't want to be saved."

Deeks nodded. His mind knew that Hetty was right but his heart still felt the guilt of giving up on her.

"I know were she used to hang out back then."

"Ok Deeks, you and Kensi try and find Emily and I'll go with Sam at Sullivan's base to tak to his mates, " G said as they all walked out.

Kensi was driving but her mind was on the silent Deeks. Would he be able to handle this case or would he break once more the "never get personally involved" rule. She wanted to talk to him but she didn't have the right words.

"You know I am proud of you" she finally managed to say.

Deeks turned his head to face her for the first time since that morning

"But Hetty is right. Most of the times the only one who can actually help us is our own selves."

"They found out she was an addict because of me. She was kicked out because of me," Deeks responded as he turned his gaze out of the window again.

"Look, you have to understand that she didn't start using because she was kicked out. She had made that choice long before you worked on the case. And besides, they suspected her. Even if you hadn't worked this case someone else would. And trust me he wouldn't help her the way you did. She would probably be dead by now."

Her words seem right but they weren't enough to take all the gulit away.

They finally reached the neighborhood Deeks remembered. It was an area sfull of suspicious faces. "Secret" drug dealing going on in front of their eyes but there was nothing they could do at that point. They slowed down the car checking in every alley to find anything that would indicate Emily was there.

"If we get out of the car the most possibe scenario is we get attacked and probably killed with all these people around. I bet they even have guns hidden under their jackets," Kensi said as she could feel their eyes penetrating them.

But just then Deeks shouted " Stop the car."

Kensi stepped on the breaks hard as she thought he saw something suspicious.

"There she is," he said pointing the alley next to them.

Emily was wearing the exact same clothes as in the video and had a hood over her head. She was lying alone next to a big paper box which was apparently the closest thing she had to a home. Was she alive?

Kensi reassured that no one else was in the alley and unbuckled her seatbelt, but Deeks stopped her.

"I need to go alone,"

"Are you sure you can handle this alone? What if is she is..."

"Dead? I guess we'll find out now," he said while checking his gun and placing it behind his back.

"If she alive and tries to run...just go easy one her. Don't shoot her or anything. Ok kens?"

Kensi agreed although she was really concerned about her partner going alone in that nest. She was scared how Emily would react at his sight. If she hasn't used in days she would be all edgy and possiby attack Deeks. But she couldn't be thinking of all that now. She had to concetrate in him. She was his backup and his only ticket out of there if anything went wrong.

Deeks got out of the car and started walking slowly towards Emily. Her eyes were closed and as he approched he just prayed that she was alive. He had seen her again in that state and it never got easy. He concetrated in her just to make sure she was still breathing. He felt releived when he noticed her chest moving and turned his face to sign to Kensi that she was alive.

Kensi's heart was pounding fast and her eyes were locked on Deeks. She had taken her gun out an was prepared for any threat.

Deeks was a few inches away when Emily opened her eyes. Their eyes met and they just stood still for a few seconds. He didn't know what to do, what to say. But then Emily made the first move. She quickly got up fell in his arms and started crying.

'Deeks. You found me! I knew you would come for me."

Deeks felt numb. He slowly placed his hands on her back no understanding exactly what had just happened. Was she waiting for him?

Kensi was as puzzled as he was when Hetty called on the radio. " What's your status agent Blye?"

"We' ve found Emily Dunham, Deeks is talking to her right now. We should be bringing her in shortly," Kesnsi replied not taking her eyes off of them.

"Be carefull!"

Meanwhile Deeks was stiff in Emily's hug not knowing exactly how to react as he didn't expect that kind of behavior. She had sunk her head at the level of his chest so he could feek her tears moisturising his t-shirt. He put his hand on her chin and pulled her head up so that he could see her face. Her eyes were red and her pale skin made them look even more intense. He couldn't tell wether this was because of the tears or the drugs she had probably just used.

Their eyes met again as she placed her lips on his. He knew this was wrong and that Kensi was watching so he didn't respond resulting in Emily's dissapointment. She looked at him in disbelief, until she noticed Kensi in the car.

"Is that your working partner or...in life?" she asked him while anger was forming in her eyes.

"She is an agent working for the NCIS," he responded trying to calm her down.

"NCIS? What the Hell is that and what do they want from me?" she was now yelling as she violently pulled herself away from Deeks.

He gently took her hand and explained to her everything about Lt Sullivan.

"You see, you were the only person we know present at the crime scene, so that makes you..."

"A suspect?" she now shouting more than before causing Kensi to step out of the car as she was afraid for Deeks safety.

"A witness," Deeks told Emily in order to keep her from losing control over herself. "We need your help to find whoever did this."

"I will come with you, but not with her," she said pointing at Kensi. Daggers were coming out of her eyes as if she wanted her to drop dead right there.

"I am afraid agent Blye and I are a package deal. Look I am only going easy on you because of our history. If she suspects anything wrong with you she won't hesitate taking you down. It is not anything personal, she has orders to do so."

Kensi was watching the entire scene from outside the car ready to make a move for it if Emily even looked suspiciously. She knew Deeks couldn't be objective on this case, so she had to be the reasonable one.

Just then she saw them moving towards the car. Emily's hand had locked Deek's while her look was locked on her. She was studing her from top to toe, a crazy look that made Kensi shiver.

Deeks introduced them, but both women were less than happy. Kensi drove back to the boat house wile Deeks sat on the back cause Emily wouldn't sit alone.

Back at the boat house Deeks escorted Emily in the interogation room. While getting ready G and Sam also came back from Lt Sullivan's base. They talked to most of his mates but up with nothing. Lt Sullivan was one of the best marines. He never got into trouble, didn't have enemies and of course wasn't using drugs. This was also confirmed by the coroner. So who killed him and why. Was he meeting Emily or she just happened to be at the wrong place?

All three of them sat in front of the tv to watch the "coversation" between Deeks and Emily.

Deeks knew he had to easy on her cause she could snap any minute and it wouldn't be pretty. He was certain she had nothing to do with the murder of the Lt and had to protect. He failed once and thought this was a second chance.

Emily sat there not being able to take her eyes off of Deeks. Their hands were still holding but Deeks felt the need to break loose and start the questions. His voice low and calm. he asked her if she had known Sullivan.

She denied knowing him. She was so wasted last night that she crashed in the first remoted alley she found. It was dark and quiet until two gunshots startled her. She got up and saw Sullivan lying down while two men were running he opossite way. She tried helping Sullivan but when she realised he was dead she panicked and run away.

The video footage they had seemed to confirm her statement. The two suspects left from the other entance of the alley that's why they weren't video taped.

Nonetheless they contacted Eric again to look harder for any kind of footage from that side of the road.

Deeks got out of the interogation room leaving Emily to calm down and relax. He still felt responsibe for her and now even more guilty for her state. All these years he had peace of mind that she was safe at detox. He imagined her being clean and even married with children. He never imagined she would relapse.

"Do you believe her?" Kensi asked.

"What do you mean?" he snapped back.

"That she is lying? That she is a suspect too? Look at her. She can barely walk let alone shoot someone. Sullivan was a marine twice her size. How could someone like her take down a man like him?"

"All I am saying is that maybe you are not thinking clearly" Kensi tried to expain herself.

"She has a point," G agreed "If it were anyone else you would at least have some doubt."

Even though Deeks was calm all this time around Emily he was getting really frustrated now that he was cornered by all his team mates.

"Look man, we are not against you," Sam tried to lighten up the atmosphere. "We just have to be objective about it."

Sam and G left to boat house to go check on Sullivan's house for any evidence that he was in trouble. In the meantime they would also check what was supposed to be Emily's paper box house.

They warned Deeks not to let her as she was technically a suspect. He wasn't happy with that term but agreed nonetheless. He brought her a banket and let her sleep on the couch as she could barely keep her eyes open. Kensi on her side, refused to leave Deeks alone with her. She didn't trust her but couldn't prove it.

G and Sam went to were Emily was supposingly sleeping but everything seemed too clean for a homeless wereabouts. No clothes, no bags, no belongings at all around there. No even a small indication that someone spent the night there.

They called and informed Kensi but before they jumped to any conclusions agreed not to tell Deeks until they also checked Sullivan's house.

Kensi went out to buy some coffee as it would be a long day. Just as she walked out the door Emily woke up.

"Did your partner go?"

"She went to get some coffee. "

Deeks supressed himself but he had to ask. "Why did you go back? Why did you throw away all this time in detox. You could have been a better person by now."

"I tried Marty, I really tried," she said trying to hold back her tears. " But they were killing me in here instead of saving me. I have to live in my own terms, and if I die at least I'll die happy."

She got up and put her hand around his neck, her lips inches away form his "I tried to find you Marty but you had moved out. We belong together don't you get it. I am the better person you want me to be, when I am with you."

She tried kissing him once again but he moved back. "I can't do this Emily, this is not right."

Emily's eyes changed from tears to pure anger. "What's the matter Marty, don't you love anymore?"

"Emily, I never loved you the way you wanted me to. I cared about you and I still care so please don't do this to yourself."

She looked at him in anger and dissapointmnet. As if this wasn't the answer she was expecting. "It's this Kensi isn't it? You traded me for a tougher chick. I saw the way you look at her and the way she didn't take her eyes off of you all this time."

She was losing control now, shouting and yelling and hitting everything that was in her way. Even the cup of tea they had offered her, she threw it at Deeks.

"Emily calm down. This has nothing to do with Kensi. She is my partner nothing more. She watches my back as I watch hers. It's our job."

He tried to be as convicing as he could be in order to calm her, but it seemed pointless.

"When this is over, will you take me home with you? I will be whatever you want be to be. I will be the perfect housewife as long I am with you," she begged him

"Em, you know it won't work. I can't always be there for you. You need proffecional help. You have to admit that you have a problem and need to deal with it."

She looked at him betrayed as she stepped back. " I don't need you. I made it through all these years without you. You are incapable of love anyway. You deserve Kensi. She seems just as emotionless as you are," she said as she opened the door to leave.

"Where are you going you can't leave," Deeks shouted for the first time at her.

"If you are not arresting me you have no right to keep me here."

They had no warrant for her arrest and since he felt guilty for hurting her again he chose to let her go.

Kensi was on her way back to the boat house when G called.

"Kensi where are you?"

"I am heading back to the house."

"Listen to me Emily is really dangerous and possibly the one that killed Sillivan. We went to his house and there was nothing suspicious. The guy led a healthy normal life. But when we showed Emily's photo to the neighbors they immediately recognised her as the weird creepy lady down the street."

Kensi listened to the details even thought she wasn't surprised at the outcome of the investigation.

"Emily did go to detox, but ended up in the phyciatric clinic after being obsessed with Deeks. She was in love with him but mad at him at the same time. She wanted to kill him and marry him at the same time. She faked sanity and the clinic released her. But of course her obsession grew bigger everyday. She needed to find a way to get back to him and when she found out he worked for the NCIS all she needed to do was make up a case. She had spotted that Sullivan was a marine and she knew that NCIS only undertakes cases involving marines.

So, she followed Sullivan, killed him, made sure a video camera recorded her and faked the story about the two unknown suspects. In order to get Deeks feel more guilty she pretended to be homeless and still an addict. That way Deeks would help her and take her home like he did last time. The only truth she's told us is that she is still using. We found heroine at her house.

We have all her notes and photos from survailing Deeks, even us and especially you."

Kensi was speechless. She suspected there was more to Emily but not this more.

'Guys, Deeks is alone with her right now."

"We'll be there in two minutes. Kensi don't make a move until we get there."

Kensi run to the boat house and waited until G and Sam arrived. They took out their guns and stormed in only to find Deeks pointing his gun to them.

"What the hell are you doing guys. You want to get yourself killed?'

Kensi pressed her finger on her lips doing the be quiet sign wile G asked

"where is Emily?"

"I let her go," he responded looking down on the floor knowing deep down inside that it was a mistake.

"You did what?" all three shouted.

Deeks looked at them with the puppy look that he was so good at, not knowing the severness of the situation.

Kensi was too angry at him to explain anything so she let Sam and G take over while she informed Eric to get a warrant for her arrest.

Deeks could not believe that Emily would go that far. He never gave her any signs to assume he ever had feelings for her. As he said he cared about her but not love her as a future wife. He run his fingers through his hair trying to proccess what he had just been told. Guilt and anger consumed him. Guilt because he was the one the drove her to this state, even unwillingly. And angry because he fell for her lies. The team was right but he wasn't ready to admit his mistake.

"I hate to tell you I told you so Deeks but..." Kensi told him after she hang up the phone.

"You love to tell me I told you so," he replied still not being able to look anyone in the eyes.

"Is that what you believe? You think we wanted this case to turn out like this? You don't know us at all," Kensi said offended.

"Deeks the best thing is to take you somewhere safe, but she could be watching us right now and follow us," G said while trying to figure out a plan.

"Unless, we move quickly to the airport and have a helicopter pick us from there," Sam continued.

"And take us where? Mexico just because some loonatic is after me? No I won't spend my time hiding. What if we never find her?" Deeks said walking up and down the room.

"Look man you have to are not the only one in danger. We could all be targets. Think about that," Sam tried to reason him.

The last thing Deeks wanted is someone get hurt because of him. "Ok, we get a helicopter land us on any building and from there we go back to the office. You said there were no pictures of the Mission right?"

They all agreed with this plan and run quickly taking both cars so as to confuse her in case she was watching them. Both Deeks and Kensi said nothing to each other in the car and in the helicopter. She was hurt cause she didn't trust her insticts and he was too stubborn to admit he was conned.

Once they made it back to the Mission they went in the Op room with Eric, Nell and Hetty.

"I need you to check every single camera and find her," were Deeks first words

Everyone was happy that Deeks was finally came to his senses only to be quickly let down.

"We need to find her before the LA PD does. She is mentally ill. She doesn't know what she is doing is wrong and if they find her first they will lock her up like any other criminal"

The team could not believe what they had just heard. Before they could say anything Deeks left the room only to be followed by an angry Kensi who had enough of him.

"Please tell me you are joking," she begged him

"I don't understand what you mean," he said still walking down the stairs.

Kensi followed him as the Sam, G and Hetty were watching from above. They knew that if someone could reason him it would be Kensi.

"She doesn't know what she is doing? Cause to me she looks like she's planned this for a long time now. Deeks when will you accept it? She fooled you. She is hooked up on you and will kill anyone who comes in her way. Hell she even killed an innocent man just to drag you to her."

"She is in this state because of me Kens. I drove her to insanity. I promised I would help but instead I gave up on her," he said while leaning on his desk.

"When will you get it that you did everything you could. You know that, I know that deep down you know that," she said as she approached him.

"Emily was right about one thing. You are emotionless and I won't let you drag me down with you just because I still care about people."

kensi froze. She wasn't expecting this kind of answer form him. And neither did the rest of the team. G made a move to go to Kens but Hetty held him back. " They have to settle this on their own. If she doesn't wake him up, he is lost," she told him.

In the meantime Kensi's mind went blank. She didn't know how to respond to such a harsh statement.

"Fine you want to get yourself killed, I don't care. I am insensitive. But I won't let you drag me or the others with you," she said using his own words.

"You are not going to turn the others against me," he shouted angrily his nails almost carving the desk.

"They have eyes and they can she how she has consumed you. You are not yourself don't you get it. The best way to help her is either lock her up in jail or in a mental institution. Keeping her with you is not an option. You will find her od one day or even worst, we will find you dead. I don't know how she manages to do this, but she is destroying you. Can't you see it?"

"Stop talking," he shouted at her again.

"Listen to yourself Deeks, you are yelling, you never yell!"

"You mean I never yell at you. Well it was about time cause someone needs to shut you up."

"I will never stop trying to bring you to your senses," she said as she placed her hands softly on his back.

"No," Deeks shouted once again." I will not let you manipulate me anymore."

"Deeks, please listen to me," she begged as her hands were now stroking his back and moved even closer to him.

"I said stop talking...and take your hands off of me," he screamed as he finally turned around, pushed Kensi back and hit her in the face with the mug that was on his desk.

She fell hard on the ground as Sam and G run fiercfully down the stairs. Eric and Nell had frozen not knowing exactly how to react and Hetty closed her eyes in disappointment.

Deeks suddenly realized the severity of his action. It was as if all his mind was finally at the right place and his thoughts were clear as water now. Kensi was on the ground bleeding. The mug had crashed on the impact cutting Kensi's right cheek. For the first time since that morning the gaze finally met. Only her look wasn't what it had always been. It wasn't the fearless, playfull, bright Kensi look. Her eyes now had fear, disappointment and sadness.

How could he do this. How could he hurt the woman he loved more than anything in the world. How could he ignore her warnings. He looked at the broken mug and dropped it on the ground.

Callen run to Kensi's side while Sam pushed Deeks on the wall. "We were going easy on your regarding the situation but I could tear you up with my own two hands."

"Don't get me wrong Sam, but I think Kens is the one that has every right to kill me right now," Deeks said not being able to take his eyes off of her.

He hoped she would turn to look back at him and punch him in the stomach like she has so many times, but instead she ignored him and walked away with the help of Callen.

" I need to get to her," Deeks told Sam who was still holding him up against the wall.

"Please man I need to make sure she is OK."

"You just hit her across the face with a mug. How do you expect her to be?"

His heart had stopped beating, his lugs had forgotten to breath, his body felt numb.

"Oh my God! What happened to me? I need to get out of here!"

Sam let him go as he sensed form the tone in his voice that the old Deeks was finally coming back.

Deeks walked outside and took a deep breath. He would never forgive himself for what he just did. How could he let Emily play this game with his mind. He wouldn't blame kensi if she requested a new partner. He could finally see the difference between Emily and Kensi. He did everything within his powers to help Emily but she refused to be helped. And that's exactly what he also did. Kensi tried to help him see the truth and the logic and he kept shutting her down. And when she didn't give up on him, he hurt her.

That was when he finally accepted that Emily was a lost cause. That it wasn't his fault she kept making the same choices that led to the same mistakes.

He closed his eyes for a brief moment and when he reopened them Emily was standing a few feet away from him. He was startled and it took him a few seconds to make sure she wasn't a hellucination.

"I have been stalking you for a very long time Deeks. Did you really think I wouldn't find your office job?"

She was holding a gun down with her right hand. When he spotted it Deeks made a move to reach his, only to remember that he had left it on his desk.

Emily slowly pointed the gun at him.

"So this is what you want? If you wanted me dead then why go through all this trouble and kill an innocent man?"

"I thought we would be together Deeks. I thought you cared for me and come to my rescue. You promised you would help me but instead you locked me up and never showed up again"

Deeks was making small discreet steps towards her in hope that he may be able to disarm her.

"You have a problem Emily," he told her trying to distract her " If you can't admit it, then no one can actually help you. You need to help yourself first."

"This is how I am helping myself," she said as she suddenly pulled the trigger twice.

Deeks unconsciously closed his eyes waiting for his whole life to pass in front of his eyes. "So this is how it ends," he thought.

End then there was nothing. No flashbacks, no pain, no white light at the end of the tunnel. He opened his eyes praying that he wouldn't see flying angels around him.

Emily had indeed fired but in a different direction. He felt kinda relieved as he thought Emily was bluffing about shooting him. Not to mention that the others would have heard the gunshot and probably storm out any second now.

But something was wrong. Emily held her gun down but had the smile of victory on her lips. Deeks turned to look at where she had just shot at and that's when the realization hit him. It was Kensi. She was just coming out of the building when the bullets hit her.

Even Kensi didn't realise where the bullets came from as she struggled to stay at her feet. Deeks ran frantically towards her and caught her in his arms just before she hit the ground. She was hit on the chest and was losing a great deal of blood.

Just then Callen and Sam came out holding their guns but froze in front of the sight of a bleeding Kensi. They heard Emily laughing and shouting at Deeks. "You hurt me...I hurt you...see how good it feels?"

Callen and G moved towards her and once she even moved her hand an inch, they both shot her.

Deeks was trying to stop the bleeding but it was useless.

"Get an ambulance," he shouted frantically

"Eric has already called and its on the way," Callen said knowing deep down that by the time they woud get there it would be too late.

"Why did she come out?"

"She came to talk to you," Sam said "To make sure you came to your senses."

Deeks kept stroking her hair and kissing her face "Don't worry sunshine, the paramedics are in their way. Just stay with me Ok?"

Kensi was shaking, she could barely breath and no words could come out of her mouth.

"Don't try to speak, you'll yell at me later. I promise you'll have plenty of time and even kick my ass," he said smiling although he was really trying to hide his anxiety,

He looked in her eyes and he could tell that there was a hint of smile in her too. And then there was peace. She held Deeks hand in hers, gave him an actual smile and stopped shaking. Had her life passed in front of eyes? Were there flashbacks and light at the end of the tunnel? What was the last thing she saw?

It was clearly Deeks. She got lost in his blue eyes and his warm cradle.

"No no no...please baby don't stop fighting" he begged her crying "please I need you."

He kissed her soflty on her lips praying that she would come back to him, but she had driffted away.

Sam could not even face her dead body so he turned the other way looking at the bright stars in the sky. Callen tried to pull away the the sobbing Deeks away from Kensi as the ambulance had arrived and the paramedics run to her aid.

Nell was crying in Eric's arms and Hetty had fallen to her knees at the entrance crying too.

Sam was now helping Callen restrain Deeks as he was desperatelly trying to ge tback to Kensi.

The paramedics worked on her for quite a while but they knew it was too late. As soon as they confirmed her death Deeks broke Sam's and Callen's grip and fell to his knees right next her.

He held her tight talking to her, begging her to come back to him. He begged this was all a bad dream and let out a loud scream.

...

Just then he wope up in Dr Murphy's was all sweaty and trembling trying to proccess what had just happened. He stood up and looked at the doctor.

"Well Mr Deeks. For a fearless man you seem to have quite a few fears,and they all insolve around the same person."

Deeks escorted the doctor back to the Mission as she had to bring the reports of he agents back to Hetty. When they walked in Deeks was still shaken from his hypnotism therapy and all he wanted to do is find Kensi. Just a glimpse of her would be enough to calm him down.

And there she was. Sitting at her desk teasing Sam and Callen about their fears just like in his dream. He was just standing looking at her secretly form a corner in the room when unconciously a smile formed on his lips.

When he realised the doctor was watching him, he immediately turned serious and walked to her. "Are these files going to be confidential?" he asked her.

"Don't worry mr Deeks. I must only report the fears that may efect the agents on the field. Your kind of fears will make you an even better agent. Not only for you, but the ones around you too," she replied looking at Kensi in the meantime.

"I have to admit doctor that I didn't quite understand what my fears are. This whole thing just seemed like a bad nightmare."

"You are an open card Mr Deeks. You are afraid of failing your partner. You are afraid of hurting her. You are afraid of losing her. You are afraid of her paying for your mistakes. You are afraid of the day you will see her smile for the last time"

Deeks was watching Kensi in the meantime and realised how true the doctor was.

"You are in love with her aren't you?"

"Yes," he said without even thinking about it. And then it hit him. This was the first time he said it outloud.

"Please doctor tell me that all this is confidential."

'Don't worry mr Deeks. Your feelings are safe with me," she smiled at him while walking up to Hatey's office.

Deeks stood there for a few more seconds lost in Kensi's smile and then walked into the room.

"I am officially fearess and have a doctors note to prove it."

-The End-


End file.
